The Epic After Dinner Battle of Jan. 25th!

Posted: January 27, 2011 in Uncategorized

Yesterday, Jan. 25.

Okay, I hear you all saying, “but Peter, yesterday would be the 26th herp derp”! Chill out dudes, I haven’t gone to bed yet so IT IS yesterday for me…sheesh! Plus, its my blog and I type what I want to except, probably the pornographic script I’ve been writing in my head involving Horatio Nelson, Lady Emma Hamilton, and Sir William Hamilton probably is not the most appropriate piece of Caldecott Award winning (I’m 100 percent sure of it) literature to write on this blog. Now, what was this tomfoolery about? Oh yeah! Yesterday and the crazy shit that happened therein!

Okay. Yesterday we had to be down to the National Theatre by 6:30 for a 7 o’ clock  performance of Hamlet. Like most days when we have this time constraint, we make the most of it by waking up at noon and lumber off towards some attraction starting around 3 pm. What? Too late? Time wasted? Settle down! We are college students…some of us like to sleep on our vacation study abroad scholastic trip in London! Okay, enough with the semi-witty digressions and on to the events on the 25th. We walked down to Buckingham Palace, I developed a huge crush on Kate Middleton…blah, blah, blah those details aren’t significant. Here is what is significant. At around 5:20ish we found a non-expensive, quasi-Italian diner/bakery called “Churchills” which was situated very close to Big Ben/Parliamentary Buildings. For the most part it went well! We got our food and I got a terrible tasting vanilla milk shake. Apparently they make milk shakes here with a milk base instead of their fat American ice cream based counterpart. No wonder us Americans rebelled in 1776. It was milk shakes, not taxes or mercantilist policies! Anyway, it was time to pay…with 10 or 11 separate checks (all written out on paper, no actual register action was employed). That was when all hell broke loose! It was World War Two all over again! America versus Italy! Let’s go! I paid first and everyone else paid as well. There were some buying of doughnuts which confused things a bit around the cash register. In the hustle and bustle, the OWNER dropped one of the girl’s (Hayley) 11ish quid check on the floor. It was swiftly picked up by someone (I was out of the restaurant so I don’t know who for sure picked it up) and placed on the table next to the register. The owner went ballistic! Accusing her of swindling him out of 11 quid and demanding money (still don’t understand his 1+1=5 logic there)! We explained to the owner over-and-over again we all paid. He got even more mad claiming we disrespected him. There were calls of appeasement but, that’s when one of the girls, Mallory, or “The Mouth from the South” as I like to now call her, let out her inner Chicago attitude and got in the owner’s face! We demanded that he check the register which would then prove our innocence. He couldn’t have any reason or logic. He was a rampaging bull! So, he started blaming almost everyone else in the dinner party of cheating him out of money. We just wouldn’t budge, innocence and justice were on our side. So after round two of the Battle of Monte Cassino, with the owner making a complete ass of himself in front of his whole restaurant, bellowed,  “Alright whatever. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY RESTAURANT AND NEVER COME BACK!” Needless to say we got out of there! That was the first time I’ve ever been kicked out of a restaurant! Now, you may ask, “where was our intrepid and brave blog writer throughout this verbal slaughter”? Well, he was in the back of the group laughing his ass off! Come on, after being raised on Jackass and the CKY videos and Tom Green, I habitually laugh at pissed off people! Anyway, Hamlet was alright.

P.S. My history professor defended King George III today in history class. This is why this experience is so invaluable, you get another side’s view of history.

P.P.S. Our group has melded nicely. It is as if we’ve known each other for years! Everyone is awesome! There really isn’t a miscreant in the crew!

P.P.P.S. I had to explain the word “Homie” and the phrase “Don’t Hate” to my English teacher. It was awkward.

P.P.P.P.S. I don’t know if this is sold in America but, the people at Jack Daniels sells pre-made Jack and Cokes in soda cans here in London! U-S-A….U-S-A….etc.!!!!!!!

P.P.P.P.P.S. I have some time tomorrow to upload some pictures. Get ready!

  1. Lexy says:

    hahaha. “don’t hate” just seems so straightforward though. can you elaborate on your prof’s reactions to “homie” and “don’t hate?” I am curious as to what he thinks. (He thinks we’re bastardizing English doesn’t he. prig. English IS the bastard of languages!)

    • pmunck519 says:

      She was actually very amused by it all. She tried to guess homie was short for homo-erotic.

      • Lexy says:

        hahaha, homoerotic. yeah right. oh I misread that and thought your prof was a dude. what did she think of “don’t hate,” I mean isn’t it pretty much what it says on the tin?

      • pmunck519 says:

        Yeah. I have no idea why she couldn’t guess it but, she kinda had an “oh, you crazy kids with your silly slang” reaction. She’s a really cool lady!

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