Yesterday, Jan. 25.

Okay, I hear you all saying, “but Peter, yesterday would be the 26th herp derp”! Chill out dudes, I haven’t gone to bed yet so IT IS yesterday for me…sheesh! Plus, its my blog and I type what I want to except, probably the pornographic script I’ve been writing in my head involving Horatio Nelson, Lady Emma Hamilton, and Sir William Hamilton probably is not the most appropriate piece of Caldecott Award winning (I’m 100 percent sure of it) literature to write on this blog. Now, what was this tomfoolery about? Oh yeah! Yesterday and the crazy shit that happened therein!

Okay. Yesterday we had to be down to the National Theatre by 6:30 for a 7 o’ clock  performance of Hamlet. Like most days when we have this time constraint, we make the most of it by waking up at noon and lumber off towards some attraction starting around 3 pm. What? Too late? Time wasted? Settle down! We are college students…some of us like to sleep on our vacation study abroad scholastic trip in London! Okay, enough with the semi-witty digressions and on to the events on the 25th. We walked down to Buckingham Palace, I developed a huge crush on Kate Middleton…blah, blah, blah those details aren’t significant. Here is what is significant. At around 5:20ish we found a non-expensive, quasi-Italian diner/bakery called “Churchills” which was situated very close to Big Ben/Parliamentary Buildings. For the most part it went well! We got our food and I got a terrible tasting vanilla milk shake. Apparently they make milk shakes here with a milk base instead of their fat American ice cream based counterpart. No wonder us Americans rebelled in 1776. It was milk shakes, not taxes or mercantilist policies! Anyway, it was time to pay…with 10 or 11 separate checks (all written out on paper, no actual register action was employed). That was when all hell broke loose! It was World War Two all over again! America versus Italy! Let’s go! I paid first and everyone else paid as well. There were some buying of doughnuts which confused things a bit around the cash register. In the hustle and bustle, the OWNER dropped one of the girl’s (Hayley) 11ish quid check on the floor. It was swiftly picked up by someone (I was out of the restaurant so I don’t know who for sure picked it up) and placed on the table next to the register. The owner went ballistic! Accusing her of swindling him out of 11 quid and demanding money (still don’t understand his 1+1=5 logic there)! We explained to the owner over-and-over again we all paid. He got even more mad claiming we disrespected him. There were calls of appeasement but, that’s when one of the girls, Mallory, or “The Mouth from the South” as I like to now call her, let out her inner Chicago attitude and got in the owner’s face! We demanded that he check the register which would then prove our innocence. He couldn’t have any reason or logic. He was a rampaging bull! So, he started blaming almost everyone else in the dinner party of cheating him out of money. We just wouldn’t budge, innocence and justice were on our side. So after round two of the Battle of Monte Cassino, with the owner making a complete ass of himself in front of his whole restaurant, bellowed,  “Alright whatever. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY RESTAURANT AND NEVER COME BACK!” Needless to say we got out of there! That was the first time I’ve ever been kicked out of a restaurant! Now, you may ask, “where was our intrepid and brave blog writer throughout this verbal slaughter”? Well, he was in the back of the group laughing his ass off! Come on, after being raised on Jackass and the CKY videos and Tom Green, I habitually laugh at pissed off people! Anyway, Hamlet was alright.

P.S. My history professor defended King George III today in history class. This is why this experience is so invaluable, you get another side’s view of history.

P.P.S. Our group has melded nicely. It is as if we’ve known each other for years! Everyone is awesome! There really isn’t a miscreant in the crew!

P.P.P.S. I had to explain the word “Homie” and the phrase “Don’t Hate” to my English teacher. It was awkward.

P.P.P.P.S. I don’t know if this is sold in America but, the people at Jack Daniels sells pre-made Jack and Cokes in soda cans here in London! U-S-A….U-S-A….etc.!!!!!!!

P.P.P.P.P.S. I have some time tomorrow to upload some pictures. Get ready!

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Pictures Coming

Posted: January 25, 2011 in Uncategorized

In the next few days I’ll be posting some pictures.

Back after a long time!

Posted: January 25, 2011 in Uncategorized

Hey all, sorry for not writing in the ol’ blog and leaving you all in the dark because after all, blogging is my number one priority in London! Just thought I’d throw in a snarky comment in there for the lulz! haha! Also, jet lag has stopped due to the trifecta of trying harder to sleep, doing more walking, and drinking the really good (and cheap) alcohol served in the dorm’s bar…that’s right, in Europe some of the dorms have a full on bar! I love it…sometimes too much. Ah well, when in Rome! Anyway, here’s just to fill you all in!

Tuesday the 18th:

London Museum. Pretty much went through most of it in three hours and saw dead people. That night, a few friends from the program and I drank a few British brews while listening to a talented musician play original cabaret versions of Pop music. He sang and played piano and it was all very entertaining and impressive. I love overusing “and” a lot fyi. This isn’t some school writing so I don’t care (maniacal laughter)! Went to a neat little hole-in-the-wall, cheap fish and chips place with a very witty and cool new friend from Canada. She’s cool! We took up half the restaurant and were very loud from the laughter. However, the owners and soul operators (an old husband and wife duo) seemed to like us, however, I think they liked us more for the 100 pound bill we accumulated (there were 11 of us…just to justify the big bill).

Wednesday the 19th

Second day of classes. The Irish history professor was a sweet old man; very nice and endearing in his lack of knowledge about technology. He lectured on the history of the Irish-British conflicts and got emotional a few times. I didn’t know IRA bombings still went on and I didn’t know the lack of rubbish bins in the subway and lack of parking in London was due to the bombings during the past few decades. In this class, we went on a walking tour. I saw where a Zeppelin dropped the first bomb on London during WWI. I also saw the Royal Homeopathic Hospital. Prince Charles supports the practice and there is a considerable debate going on whether to include it in the national healthcare service. I can’t believe they are giving that piece of pseudo-scientific shit practice the time of day but, thats the problems with royalty…their neuroses can influence public policy debate. Anyway, the big children’s hospital in London is supported by royalties/profits from the Peter Pan franchise. Shakespeare class was next. The lady professor was very entertaining but had no qualms about putting you under the microscope by asking the most personal questions! She asked me who my celebrity crush was…I wasn’t expecting it so I faltered for a second…she asked me if I was gay…I said “no” and quickly answered Emma Watson which is the truth. That night was very fun! I went to a social hosted by the dean of students in the common area at the other location (MTH). It was a welcome celebration which included free beer, wine, and pizza! I love how in Britain official school functions have free alcohol. Needless to say I indulged and played a very intense game of fooseball and nearly won! After that I drank more at the ISH bar while getting to know three new friends from the local music college. They are all English. We mostly talked about the differences between America and Britain. They were astounded by our harsh alcohol laws and our incredibly idiotic marijuana laws. Anything to keep the DEA Jobs Program alive right? Sorry for the needless political jab! Also got to know my Bulgarian (not Polish as previously thought and definitely not Romanian because according to him, Romanians are all gypsies) At the end of the night I made some really cool friends (its now facebook official…SCORE!!) and got pretty tipsy!

Thursday the 20th.

Got up at noon. Had breakfast/Lunch and spent the afternoon exploring the rest of the British Museum. I paid the extra fee to go into the special exhibit on the Egyptian Book of the Dead. Its purpose was to provide the spells necessary for the living to help the spirits of the dead family members to achieve passage into the afterlife. The Egyptian family was very dedicated, coming in day after day to leave offerings and spells. It made me appreciate my own family more for what they do for me and, more importantly, what they put up with. I feel very lucky to have the family I have and to have Parents that pay for my schooling/this semester abroad. Needless to say I got homesick while looking at a few thousand year old fragmented papyri piece. Anyway, LOVE YOU ALL! ANYWAY, enough with the emotional lovey dovey crap! I’M A MAN! SOCIETY’S GENDER STANDARDS DICTATE I DON’T GET EMOTIONAL! WHERE’S MY BEER! Okay, got my testosterone levels back up!  lol! Hung around the interwebz (brief break for dinner) until Karaoke. I let ‘er rip. Sang a 3 Doors Down song (Kryptonite) and an Afroman song (Because I got High) and rocked it! God I really want to be a rock star! The rest of the night was filled with a constant flow of alcohol (got kinda drunk) and hits from now-a-days (got wild to Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok”, thats right, I like Ke$ha and proud of it so screw you all) and some good songs from the nineties. I danced my feet raw and had a blast with the Wisco. crew! Apparently we bring the party to ISH Bar Karaoke nights. I am thinking about doing a Limp Bizkit song this Thursday.

Friday the 21st

Woke up. We had to attend a musical called “Fela” that night for Theatre class at the National Theatre which is on the other side of the Thames river so the group and I decided to walk down early to see the sights along the way. Went through the posh shopping of Picadilly Circus and still felt like a total bum even though I was wearing my most fashionable stuff. Thats right…I dressed my age for once! Anyway, hung out in Trafalgar Square for awhile. There was a street performer there. Me and Bryon (one of the 5 guys who’s in the group) helped the performer out. I put him in a straight jacket and Bryon, along with another dude, and I helped him on a 6ft. unicycle where he escaped the straight jacket. It was all very funny and very entertaining. He also juggled too! We then walked down and saw the Westminster Abbey/Big Ben/Parliamentary building. There was also an anti-war protest going on as well. Anyway, the play was cool! Too lazy to write about it. Sorry!

Saturday the 22nd

Cambridge. Too much to write down, much rather talk about it later. Beautiful architecture, amazing college facilities, and a neat view provided by a Church’s bell tower. I also bought two CDs at the local market. Story tiem! The spiral staircase that led up to the neat views was extremely tight and narrow. The makers apparently didn’t look into the future to notice that a pudgy 6 foot brute needed to use it to sightsee…the inconsiderate assholes! Anyway, I exclaimed very loudly in exasperation, “Holy Jesus Balls…wait, probably inappropriate to say in a church”! The other people I was with laughed out loud. On the way down I uttered similar blasphemies. Sorry God! lol! Bus ride on the way back was dodgy. Got a tad motion sick.

Saturday the 23rd

Hung out and did homework. Watched THE PACKERS MAKE IT TO THE SUPERBOWL!! The whole crew turned out and we took over the Bar’s televisions to watch the game and got very wild. The locals and the other foreign students looked at us like we were idiots. Anyway, there was a Bears fan there with her Bears fan friends from Stout’s program. We didn’t talk throughout the game. Thought it best not to gloat however, I did make fun of Cutler. Man, what a pussy! Brett Favre played on a broken ankle!

Today

Classes. Laundry. Nothing Special. BYE!!

Tomorrow is Hamlet and Buckingham Palace!

Jet lag

Posted: January 18, 2011 in Uncategorized

Jet lag has run savage upon my system, forcing me to stay up till the butt crack of dawn and also having me doze off during inappropriate times. Later today, I will procure some Tylenol PM to fight this scourge. My body’s response has been slow and ineffective forcing me to call in chemical reinforcements.

Whattup again. First day of classes went pretty well with two kinda big unfortunate occurrences. First off, Jet Lag was being a bitch. He or she (not sure which gender to assign jet lag) wouldn’t let me sleep until five am. So, basically did my first day on three-ish hours of sleep.  The walk to where my classes take place puts any walk I’ve ever done to get to class at UWSP to shame. Its 25 minutes only if you leg it like a mother bitch. First class was cool. Its a Drama/Theatre class. We basically go to plays and engage in criticism. 2 papers…easy. Lunch was fun. Its fun to live in a big city because even mundane walks are full of stimulation. I digress, Tescos is a really good grocer chain. Bought a pretty good sized lunch there for five pounds. Anyway, the second unfortunate occurrence. Since I was full from lunch and was operating on three-ish hours of sleep, I fell asleep…right in the middle of the second class which is International Studies. So I’m the first person in my group to be excoriated by a professor. Great! Not really. Anyway, I know sleeping in the middle of class is definitely rude to the professor and I offer no excuses for being weak and giving into my yearning for slumber, however I feel that he was a little too harsh. If looks could kill, I would have been eviscerated and would have died from exsanguination. Having an expansive vocabulary for anything death related is a definite advantage of listening to Death Metal. Tomorrow I’m going to the British Museum. Can’t wait!

First Two Days!

Posted: January 16, 2011 in Uncategorized

Hello all! I can now talk, wait, write about me and my adventures on my trip abroad. I’m really digging this whole exercise in solipsism. Anyway, enough about myself (I can go all day on that subject) and now to my semester abroad in London–wait, aren’t I just talking about myself more? Yup! Enjoy the tautology! ANYWAY, the rest of the group and I got into Heathrow Airport in London yesterday around 8 am. To digress, I watched The Expendables on the plane. It was awesome! The group’s mood was visibly subdued (you would be too if you had just taken an international flight)  but, I felt a subtle electrified buzz about. We then took a bus into London, to the place where we will be staying these next few months. I am staying at a place called International Student House, or ISH for short. We then got our room assignments and internet passes. My room is located on the fourth level in the twentieth room. The room is big (we also have our own bathroom and free WIFI! Fuck yeah!)  and I live with three other people. One person is another UWSP student, the other two are from Poland. After getting settled, the group walked down to one of the main shopping streets in London. Down there, everyone was dressed super nice. I wasn’t. Lulz. Anyway, the group splintered and I went with some people to get cheap-as-hell-pay-as-you-go track phones and ate take out sandwiches in the common area of the other location MTH. After lunch I went back to ISH and messed about until 3:30ish. Dinner was at six. So what does one do with two and a half hours of free time in London? Take a nap of course! This ended up being a really bad decision. Anyway, ate dinner…went to the ISH bar (yes, there’s a bar in my Dorm) and had an amazing beer called, Weissbier. It tasted as if Spotted Cow and Champagne had sex and the result of this tryst was a gustatorial orgasm. It was so good! After that I went out with people to a place called Pizza Express. I asked for a dessert while my dinner companions ate a main course. Didn’t know this wasn’t done in Britain. Being obviously American FTW! Since I was in the self indulgent mood, I ordered a tiramisu with a Southern Comfort and coke. The Brits might have on a beer but we have them on hard liquor! haha! After this, went back to ISH bar and went to bed. Remember when I said taking a nap was a bad decision? I couldn’t sleep, tried from midnight to 1 am. I said “screw it” and went down to join a few people from the program watch the Packers caponize the Falcons. Returned to try sleep. Didn’t sleep until 6 am. It took watching a documentary, and this is how depraved I am, on serial killers on youtube to lull me to sleep. I wish Jack the Ripper ripped jet lag (pun way intended) as jet lag sucks! Woke up today at 1:35, showered, and had orientation at 2pm. Orientation, walk to where our classes will take place, and a tour of the famous Wisconsin room, and buying an Oyster Card and school supplies took me to dinner. After dinner hung around at the ISH bar until now. Classes start tomorrow so you’d think we’d have gotten our class schedules yesterday. Nope! Didn’t gaze upon my destiny until 10 pm tonight. Pretty sweet schedule. Classes on Monday and Wednesday with the other days are free or dedicated to side trips. There you go!

 

P.S. The posts from now on are probably just going to be random thoughts, stories, weird experiences, and photos with captions. Not so much a blow-by-blow narrative. I’m way too busy being a student in London and way too busy being lazy! Also, I want to thank Bernanke, Obama, Bush, Clinton, and Greenspan for 12ish years of bad monetary policy (needless political jab ftw)! Getting 170 pounds for 300 dollars sucks! Its bullocks I tell you!

Hello world!

Posted: January 14, 2011 in Uncategorized

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